samedi 26 mars 2011

They're called Peace, Love and Harmony

She is peace and they're love and harmony.

My daugther's smile illuminates a room onto itself.

My oldest son is all about love, goes for his dad, plays with him, keeps him proud and happy.

My youngest is harmony, the 'artist'. A natural calm river, poised, breath-taking by its grandeur.

That's just the way it is. I've inherited rich pots of gold, pure gold, three kids that keep me going at the time, each so precious, so unique, so good in what they do.

They are my passion, my reason for being. I will always be there for them, no matter what.

With peace, love, and harmony.

vendredi 25 mars 2011

Milk, Biscuit (and Coffee), seizing a precious moment with my son

He's shewing on his biscuit. Looking around, his big eyes embracing the world.

He's always been quite a kid, curious, patient, observing.

I just call him 'the artist'.

The other day we did go on a small shopping frenzy. The task: equip the artist's studio. We did just that. Bought a few things, nothing really fancy.

My son 'became' an artist. Not just by accident. That's just who he is. He likes to draw, with his tong sitting out. I just like looking at him, and encouraging him in his endeavours. He's special.

Him and I just hanging around. Two boys together, enjoying milk, biscuit, and me, just coffee. He's my biscuit. A precious gift that life has given me.

Smiling back at you my dear son, now, and forever.

With love,

Your dad.

mercredi 23 mars 2011

19-2, réveillez-vous les boyz

J'aime bien 19-2. Comme plusieurs d'entre-nous.

Le sex j'en raffole, suis un vrai gars, pas besoin de me cacher pour l'avouer.

Bien de belles scènes du genre dans l'épisode de ce soir.

Croyez-vous que les policiers et cières vivent des vies équilibrées ? Je n'en sais rien, mais ça doit pas être facile, et "sauter" sa partenaire peut sembler très attrayant, pas tant que ça si on l'aime, tout le monde a droit d'être heureux.

Berroff et Chartier sont tourmentés. L'un cache à son ex (qui ne l'est pas encore on se demande) qu'il a une nouvelle blonde, parlant du chien dans son auto, avec la nouvelle blonde qui fait chier, l'ex qui n'en est pas une apparaît soudainement comme étant pas si pire que ça.

On devine que si Berroff n'avait pas eu d'enfant avec elle, et qu'elle ne travaillait pas avec lui, qu'il serait passé à autre chose. Ben oui, le pauvre est "pris". Il veut rester au poste 19 même si le boss pense le contraire et que les "russes" mafieux sont à ses trousses.

Il se cache face à lui-même, on ne s'est pas trop en définitive ce qu'il veut vraiment, ce que sont ses besoins, il fait des compromis pour tout le monde. Écoute-toi bon sang !

Chartier la charrue n'est pas mieux. Il vit dans un appartement sans vie, accueille et protège son collègue soul comme il faisait avec son père quand il était jeune. Ose se facher par principe (contre Michel Courtemanche la semaine dernière), pour ensuite ravaler ses paroles. Faible. Comme Berroff, il veut juste qu'on l'aime, et se rabat sur une fille qui avoue ouvertement aimer les unions libres. Dans la manipulation des gens, on repassera. Chartier est mort il y a longtemps. Berrof et Chartier vont-ils pouvoir un jour se réveiller ?

J'ose croire qu'ils oseront se libérer de leurs propres démons. On se reconnaît en eux j'imagine, personne n'est parfait.

Moi, je leur suggère simplement d'écouter la toune de Chris Cornell, "wake up", sur son dernier album "Scream".

Réveillez-vous les boyz...

Free of being just who I am

Someone knocks at the door. Timing's not really good. I had something else planned in mind.

I like sushi you see. I would eat it everyday if I could. Maybe that would be too much. Who knows. Only thing I know is I don't ask.

Do I have a drinking problem? All I know is some days the bottle was "knocking" at my door. Was my friend. Not anymore.

I've always liked the buzz. Today, I know I don't need to buzz to feel fulfilled. I'm in my moment. Just there, present. Taking pleasure in listening to the bird that's singing, looking at the kid that's running, spending time with myself.

That's the most powerful thing I've realized. I can be happy just with who I am.

Stupid hey. Sounds so simple. Not really.

I used to care a lot about what others thought of me. I looked outside to feel "whole" within.

Today, I am just who I am. Free.

Free to think, to sit down and enjoy the moment, to relax, to laugh, to cry.

Men do all these things, well, I guess I still do if you're still not convinced.

It's just who I am. I'm proud of that. Of being sensitive, connected with my feelings.

When my kids are not around part of me isn't there. That I know, I feel. I also know that the dad in me is so proud of what I've done and accomplished so far.

I'm present in the lives of my kids, cause I've never been so grounded, and free to be just who I am, being able to give the best of me.

That's because I've connected with the bigger man in me. The one that's free.

mardi 22 mars 2011

Chosing a new path, one filled with love

You know it when you truly love someone. You don't feel the same, things appear to be more easy, and things that used to bother you don't seem to anymore.

Close to 4 years ago I explicitly was looking for peace. I looked outside of me, and over the next year and a half I found emptyness, to finally realize that I had all the answers inside of me, that I had everything in me to be happy.

I always had a strong value base, but never fully asserted my beliefs, what mattered most to me. People around me never really respected me, but didn't say so. They used me as much as they could, and I lived in a glass prison which I didn't know existed.

Funny. Not really. To one day wake up and realize that you have been living a nightmare all these years. This was my awakening, and I would soon enter a new chapter in my life, one which would resonate with respect, integrity, friendship, love and passion.

Some people make conscious decisions not to embrace their own life. They know it, however chose a different path, one to live "split" lives, where they are not true, hiding all the time, in "bottles", "drugs", other forms of addictions, etc.

My body sent me tons of signals, and more often than not I wasn't really paying attention, saying to the "body", "hey, I'm the one in control !".

Not. Soon, I was laying on the floor flat, in shock, and then my path to recovery, to true awakening, began. That's what it took.

I started living, but most of all, I began to "love" myself, chosing a new path.

I now appreciate what it truly takes to love someone. I love my girlfriend, my kids, my new family and friends, but most of all I take time to recharge my batteries, to cherish the journey, the learnings, the path to my own daily happiness.

Keeping things simple, appreciating the small things to unleash the bigger man in me.

lundi 21 mars 2011

"I adore you" my darling

I'm in your alley tonite. I have broken my chains. I have no choice.

I live for you, I have forgotten everything else.

I am able to be the bigger man in me.

Love is not a lost bird, it is flying along your side, in your heart and mine.

As you and I go back in time and place, I follow your thoughts, breathe your words, go back to the places that we made our own, our first home.

This is our treasure, our memories.

A street, a restaurant, food we love, soothing music, peace around us, walking, stopping, holding your hand, words that resonate, "I adore you", my darling.

I remember, I know you do too.