samedi 29 octobre 2011

My son won't see me anymore, I'm still a good dad

It's a done deal, DONE, and scelled, SCELLED !

I am officially divorced.

Can't believe it. Why?

Well, it wasn't easy. More than 2 years, almost 3.

One thing's for sure, I don't need to look far to justify why I should get divorced. Did I do the right thing? No kidding I did, no kidding.

That relationship was driving me straight in the coffin.

Now it's time to enjoy, have fun, let it all out ! Not really. Why?

Gosh, what's going on dude that you can't let it go ?!?

My oldest son doesn't want to see me anymore. My daughter's openly lying to me, with the consent of her mother, and my current relationship, well, that's just it.

Good thing I can hide at work and in my home town to recharge the batteries.

My oldest son may be the collateral damage of too many transitions that I've gone through in the last little while. Do I regret something? Not really. However it's really not easy to not see him, while I recognize that the quality of our relationship sucks. He's 13 you'll say, he's going through his own changes. Yeah, there's probably a lot going through his mind right now, lots of things to handle, too many emotions, he may feel at lost at times.

I'm not trying to be sympathetic, just realistic. I'm not getting any help to connect with him, and his lawyer did not even recommend any therapy for us two together. So we're left with a 13-year old that takes decisions, not to see his father, to see him, maybe once a month, we'll see.

Yeah, I am the one that doesn't understand. What's up with me? Seriously, it is 'normal' for a child to decide what's best for him at 13, when the father's biggest mistake has been to divorce.

I have always taken care of this child, with care, with love.

He's been lying to me as well, been treating me like shit. Yeah, that's it, I'm the bad guy. I'm the one that decided to leave, to separate, and I met someone.

His number one job is to hate me and her, and whatever we do, don't do, think of doing, etc. We're from hell, bad to the bones. The rest of the people in his life are good, caring, loving, protective, like a nice cooked meal, home sweet home.

Yeah, not at my home ! It's really difficult to be treated like dirt by your own child. I'm a good dad, in fact, I'm ano excellent dad, offering love and discipline.

Now he's my equal, he's the main man in his mother's house, in charge. Why would he need me?

Well, my son, I guess I'm kind of writting to you right now. If you believe that not having me in your life is for the better, than so be it. I'm letting go, since the system supports your decision, your household protects you, and people around you believe what they want to believe about me.

It's a lot for you to handle. Imagine your dad now, what he's been going through, constant humiliation and isolation.

Where's the justice? What justice? When you can't prove anything. I'm left paying lawyer fees with a definite sour taste in my month. At least I'm divorced now !

Some kids have been abandoned. Some have been neglected. Some are lost, with no one to love them and care for them.

I have a son that I love, that I've cared for, that I've supported since birth. Gosh, a father pleading to see his son.

We live a a just society. When truck loads of money, and lying games are going on. But when emotions are mixed into this, kids are the real vicitims. What nice values were transmitting them.

I am a man of love and respect, I am a father, a dad who isn't a real dad, not really.

Even with the distance I know I carry a stong and valuable message: good dads are doing nothing wrong, and all they care for is to see their children become better than them, and transform our society to make it into one that more loving, more caring, and more open and not discriminating against anyone.

Good dads are just good dads. That's just it.

Thanks for listening.

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